Which would you rather feel, fear or courage? It’s an easy question to answer in the abstract, but how many times do you stick with fear rather than face challenges and opt for embracing courage? Fear is meant for one thing only: to prevent us from making decisions that inhibit us from surviving and thriving. Each time we feel it, we need to determine if fearful memories are still of predictive value. If not, they’re useless—or worse, because they prevent us from doing what’s best for us in the present.

There are myriad reasons to feel fear aside from actual life-threatening events: rejection and abandonment, being judged, failure, etc. But remember, though these situations might be devastating for a child, they’re generally not for an adult. Make a list of your fears, then pause and generate some more. When you’re done, think about whether you still need to have those fears or if they’re left over from childhood or trauma. 

Real fears are invaluable, but so is courage. Sure, fear enhances survival, but doesn’t courage do the same? Each time we encounter a situation in which fear arises—one that triggers the memory of a scary experience—we actually may find it more worthwhile to ignore the fear and replace it with courage. 

Consider the times you’ve been courageous: signing up for a class to learn something new, going out to dinner or a movie alone, leaving an abusive relationship, giving up an unhealthy habit, asking for a promotion, visiting a doctor to find out if something is wrong, enduring pain or discomfort in the short-run for pleasure or comfort in the long-run. The list could go on and on. How do you feel about the times when you’ve been courageous and done something to benefit yourself versus running away in fear? .

Every time you feel fearful, you’re at a choice point. You can either slide into your usual fear-based mindset or flip it over and decide to show yourself (and others) how brave you are. You always get to decide which kind of person you want to be— backing off in protective mode or getting out there and leading a rich, meaningful, full life. The more you choose courage over fear, the prouder you’ll feel about yourself and the more likely that you’ll make a courageous decision next time and the time after that. 

Remember, you not only want to break the pattern of fear holding you back. You want to update a patterned response, so let courage move you forward. Need more encouragement? Read these blogs: Overcoming Your Fears, Facing Fear to Conquer It, and Overcoming Fear Leads to Reparative Experiences. 

Best,

Karen