karen header 3

Karen's Blogs

Blogs are brief, to-the-point, conversational and packed with information, strategies, and tips to turn troubled eaters into “normal” eaters and to help you enjoy a happier, healthier life.Sign up by clicking "Subscribe" below and they’ll arrive in your inbox. 

[No unsolicited guest blogs accepted, thank you]

What Is Your Broken Record Playing?

What-Is-Your-Broken-Record-Playing-

For those of you who know what a record is and have heard them being played, you might remember what happens when one has a scratch that causes it to play the same thing over and over. You never get to hear the rest of the song because the needle of the record player is stuck in the groove made by the scratch. Hence the term broken record which means saying the same thing over and over.

Why do we get stuck repeating the same messages to ourselves when they’re not moving us forward, but keeping us caught in some ancient time warp? Here’s an example of what I call “broken record syndrome,” which is usually an unconscious pattern of self-talk which keeps you from focusing on yourself and changing your life.

A client was telling me about her yearning for a stable man and how all she’d ever chosen were men who turned out not to be there for her long-term. “I can’t find anyone to take care of me and that’s really all I want. I know I sound like a broken record.” 

From her upbringing, I would have been surprised if my client had chosen men who took care of her rather than the other way around. In my assessment, the pattern was set back in childhood and she just followed it along. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help that my client is always telling herself (and everyone else) that she “can’t find anyone to take care of” her. That message just gets more deeply encoded in her brain and she finds the same kinds of unreliable men (like her father) over and over again, making the pattern come true. 

In psychology this process is called a self-fulfilling prophesy, a “prediction that causes itself to be true due to the behavior (including the act of predicting it) of the believer.” Sometimes other people (usually your parents, relatives or teachers) tell you something like, “Oh, you’ll never amount to anything” and you believe them and do things to make sure you’re not a success. Part of the reason this happens is that this idea is lodged in your brain and you keep thinking it’s true even though it isn’t and never was. 

What are you saying on your broken records? That you can’t stop drinking or eating, won’t ever find anyone to love you, will always be betrayed, won’t find happiness? Beware of self-predictions that include “never” or “always.” Watch out for assumptions that base your future on your past. Mostly, examine what you’re telling yourself and if it’s not laying out a better, brighter future for you, quit saying it. It’s time to clean house and get rid of all those broken records. Make some new, positive recordings and you’ll be good to go. 

Best,

Karen

 

How to Use Incompatible Response Training to Chang...
Asking the Wrong Question in Abusive Relationships

By accepting you will be accessing a service provided by a third-party external to https://www.karenrkoenig.com/

shelf new

EBProfessionalBadgeLarge

This website is owned and operated by Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed., LCSW. It contains material intended for informational and educational purposes only, and reasonable effort is made to keep its contents updated. Any material contained herein is not to be construed as the practice of clinical social work or of psychotherapy, although adherence to applicable Florida States, Rules, and Code of Ethics is observed. Material on this website is not intended as a substitute for medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment for mental health issues or eating disorder problems, which should be done only through individualized therapeutic consultation. Karen R. Koenig, LCSW disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained on this website. This website contains links to other sites. The inclusion of such links does not necessarily constitute endorsement by Karen R. Koenig, LCSW who disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained in this website. Further, Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, does not and cannot guarantee the accuracy or current usefulness of the material contained in the linked sites. Users of any website must be aware of the limitation to confidentiality and privacy, and website usage does not carry any guarantee or privacy of any information contained therein.  Privacy Policy