karen header 3

Karen's Blogs

Blogs are brief, to-the-point, conversational and packed with information, strategies, and tips to turn troubled eaters into “normal” eaters and to help you enjoy a happier, healthier life.Sign up by clicking "Subscribe" below and they’ll arrive in your inbox. 

[No unsolicited guest blogs accepted, thank you]

By accepting you will be accessing a service provided by a third-party external to https://www.karenrkoenig.com/

What Does Self-management Involve?

You have one primary job in the world: to manage yourself. If you take care of others, then you have a secondary job as well. If you cannot manage yourself even when you finally become an adult, don’t despair. You can learn. I have many clients who’ve made tremendous strides in self-care in a year or two of therapy. Sound like a long time? Not as long as spending the rest of your life lacking the knowledge for self-management.

Self-management, according to Jenni Stahlmann and Jody Hagaman who write a syndicated parenting column, involves people learning “how to understand their emotions, contemplate their choices and then make proactive decisions rather than reactive or impulsive ones.” (“Helping kids develop self-management skills, Sarasota Herald Tribune, 11/12/18, B2) Wouldn’t being able to do that go a long way toward helping you eat better?

According to Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, authors of “Emotional Intelligence 2.0,” “self-management is one of the hallmarks of emotional intelligence (EQ).” A number of studies show that EQ is critical to success in the working world. Being in charge of yourself happens when you can embrace and recognize your emotions and appropriately use them to generate behavior. We can do this only when we experience an emotion, then take a breath to pause and consider what it is and what to do with it. This pause enables us to briefly assess possible thoughts and behaviors.

Sometimes a breath or two will do it, but often we need more time and distance, to step away from a situation that has triggered feelings within us. Sometimes we need to be alone with what we’re experiencing. Other times we’ll want to share it with trusted others who’ll help us explore and evaluate what we’re going through in order to make decisions that are in our best interest. To get appropriate help, it’s vital that we have people around us with a high EQ, which includes being: a great listener and having empathy for what we’re going through, able to tolerate strong feelings—ours as we present them and any intense emotional reactions they may have to them, honest with themselves and us in order to give us appropriate feedback, and able to express themselves in a manner which seems logical, calming and helpful to us. They also need to know when they’ve said enough and live with the fact that we may not do as they say.

By choosing intimates who manage themselves well, we learn to do it better. As we improve, we can help them as they’ve helped us. Remember, we’re all works in progress. Set a goal to learn to management yourself better and start moving toward it.

Best,

Karen

http://www.karenrkoenig.com/

https://www.facebook.com/normaleatingwithkarenrkoenig/

http://www.youtube.com/user/KarenRKoenig

http://twitter.com/KarenRKoenig

APPetite on Facebook

 

What Makes Us (Truly) Happy?
There’s a Big Difference Between Privacy and Secre...

shelf new

EBProfessionalBadgeLarge

This website is owned and operated by Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed., LCSW. It contains material intended for informational and educational purposes only, and reasonable effort is made to keep its contents updated. Any material contained herein is not to be construed as the practice of clinical social work or of psychotherapy, although adherence to applicable Florida States, Rules, and Code of Ethics is observed. Material on this website is not intended as a substitute for medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment for mental health issues or eating disorder problems, which should be done only through individualized therapeutic consultation. Karen R. Koenig, LCSW disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained on this website. This website contains links to other sites. The inclusion of such links does not necessarily constitute endorsement by Karen R. Koenig, LCSW who disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained in this website. Further, Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, does not and cannot guarantee the accuracy or current usefulness of the material contained in the linked sites. Users of any website must be aware of the limitation to confidentiality and privacy, and website usage does not carry any guarantee or privacy of any information contained therein.  Privacy Policy