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I hope you understand by now that food is not what you really want whenever you’re not hungry and grab something from the fridge or swing by the fast-food drive-thru window. Food only meets your needs when you’re hungry. Whatever else you want is something important to you, essential for your well-being and living your best life, and foundational to your happiness.
Make this the year that you finally find out what’s driving your food obsession, what’s underneath your need to clean your plate, what’s causing your secret and sneak eating—whatever you’d be doing if you weren’t focusing on food and weight every minute of your life. The question is not only what you really want, but what you want more than food. What will satisfy you more than any sweet or treat ever could? Stop reading for a minute and answer this question.
Here’s another: What are you afraid to pursue because you might fail? I know from my decades in the field and my own eating disorder recovery that there are yearnings you have that, when acknowledged, will open your life in the most amazing ways. What are they? I don’t know what they are, but I can tell you they’re not made of flour or sugar.
Maybe you want . . .
a boyfriend or a girlfriend
a job that pays more or is something that you love doing
more excitement in your life
to be valued or cared for by others
to shine in a special way
to live peacefully and follow your heart
to feel secure and safe
to do more for yourself and less for others
My New Year’s wish is that you start connecting with your very real and very healthy, normal needs and shout them from the rooftop. You don’t need to worry about going overboard, as most of you have barely scratched the surface of recognizing that you have needs, never mind shouting about them. A strange wish for the new year, I know, but that is what my heart wants for you: to focus on what you want for yourself this year (and every year hereafter) and on how exactly you’re going to go about getting it.
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