A client was talking about learning to self-validate, then brought up seeking advice from her higher power. I asked, “What about your wiser power? What does it have to say?” I suggested it might be helpful to consult with it, since it was easily accessible.
I’m a big fan of wisdom and have blogged about it before. Wisdom is knowing what’s best for you based upon the information you have. It’s mostly comprised of knowledge and experience with a little bit of intuition thrown in. It’s what you’re seeking when you ask everyone else what to do and what you want when you keep playing out scenarios in your head, not knowing which one to pick.
Here's the thing with higher versus wiser power. Seeking guidance from a higher power is a way of still looking outside yourself for answers. There’s nothing wrong with that. We can’t know how to do everything and it’s important to talk with others about what to do when you’re not sure yourself. But you can’t always assume that someone else’s advice is going to be better than yours. What if yours is just as valid as theirs?
I assume I have a wiser power within me. It’s what helped me become a “normal” eater and learn to make healthier decisions all around in my life. My wiser self always has my best interest at heart, though I might not like what it’s telling me. I may even hate what it’s saying, but because it’s wise it ignores the fact that it makes me uncomfortable and says what needs to be said. Your wiser self can help you self-validate and self-soothe. It can’t tell you how today’s decisions will play out in the future, but it can tell you what’s best with the information it has now. That’s really the best anyone can do.
Here are examples of situations in which your wiser power will have your back: When your romantic partner has a long pattern of mistreating you and you want to give them one more chance. When you’ve finished a delicious dinner and feel satisfied but think about polishing off the apple pie in the fridge. When you’ve just gotten your driver’s license back after it was revoked for a DUI, and you’re thinking about driving home from your local bar after having a few. When your friend regularly asks for loans but never pays you back and calls to borrow even more money. When you’re starting college and panic that you won’t be able to do the work, although your grades prove you’re smart. When you think about calling a therapist for help with your eating problems, but don’t believe anyone can help you and that you need to fix yourself by yourself.
Your wiser power always has your back and is available 24/7. You don’t need to do anything but call it up like a magic genie, ask your question, then listen hard.