karen header 3

Karen's Blogs

Blogs are brief, to-the-point, conversational and packed with information, strategies, and tips to turn troubled eaters into “normal” eaters and to help you enjoy a happier, healthier life.Sign up by clicking "Subscribe" below and they’ll arrive in your inbox. 

[No unsolicited guest blogs accepted, thank you]

Pushing or Being Pulled Forward

There’s a big difference between pushing ourselves forward and being pulled toward the future, our goals, or our passions. Can you sense the difference?

I’m known among my clients for pestering them about their use of words like “should,” “shouldn’t,” and “need to” in making choices and I’ve written about these external motivators in articles, books and blogs. When we use these words, we’re generating an outside pressure on ourselves to do something. When we tell ourselves, “I have to do the laundry,” “I’ve got to lose weight,” or “I need to finish college,” it’s as if a finger is jabbing at our backs and prodding us forward. Think of the times you’ve been on the receiving end of a push—on line for a concert, getting on a bus, or being crowded by the person behind you at the supermarket checkout. How did it feel being pushed forward by them? I’m hard pressed (pun intended) to believe that you enjoyed the feeling. Who does? Notice the feelings of annoyance to strong anger that occurred.

If you usually pressure yourself to “get things done,” no wonder you don’t do them. No one enjoys being poked in the back, so why should you? On the other hand, think of the times you’ve been pulled or drawn toward something—a painting across a room, an exotic destination in a travel brochure, a stranger you’d like to get to know better, or an activity that sounds like fun. Being drawn toward something is a delightful, joyful experience, the opposite of what you experience when pushing yourself. When you’re drawn to something, you feel yourself almost automatically taking steps toward it.

When making major life decisions, be sure to look for that tug in a certain direction. You can tell when it happens because it makes you eager to act. When you’re pushing yourself, the force is coming from behind you. By allowing yourself to be pulled forward in life, all the energy is coming from ahead of you. You may be choosing a career, a move to another city, whether to marry or divorce, or what to eat. In these instances, there’s often a force pushing from behind you with mock authority as if it knows what’s best for you versus a force that’s magnetically drawing you forward for a reason you might not even know at the time.

Ignore being prodded by what you think you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. Never think or use these words. Ban them from your vocabulary and, instead, open up wide to being drawn into your future. If you haven’t tried this method of living, you don’t know what you’re missing. Do it, and you’ll be happier and intuitive eating will become a lot easier.

Re-categorize Fat in Your Brain
Dangers of Food Restriction

By accepting you will be accessing a service provided by a third-party external to https://www.karenrkoenig.com/

shelf new

EBProfessionalBadgeLarge

This website is owned and operated by Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed., LCSW. It contains material intended for informational and educational purposes only, and reasonable effort is made to keep its contents updated. Any material contained herein is not to be construed as the practice of clinical social work or of psychotherapy, although adherence to applicable Florida States, Rules, and Code of Ethics is observed. Material on this website is not intended as a substitute for medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment for mental health issues or eating disorder problems, which should be done only through individualized therapeutic consultation. Karen R. Koenig, LCSW disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained on this website. This website contains links to other sites. The inclusion of such links does not necessarily constitute endorsement by Karen R. Koenig, LCSW who disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained in this website. Further, Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, does not and cannot guarantee the accuracy or current usefulness of the material contained in the linked sites. Users of any website must be aware of the limitation to confidentiality and privacy, and website usage does not carry any guarantee or privacy of any information contained therein.  Privacy Policy