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While talking with a client, we began exploring what kind of people she wanted out of her life and what kind she wanted to keep in and attract more of. She said, “I seem to pick people who I have to work to get to like and approve of me. I’d rather have friends who want to celebrate me as I am.” We both gave a loud whoopee after she said that.
That’s the type of statement that takes a stand boldly and proudly and bursts with self- empowerment. It proclaims, “I’m tired of people who can’t decide if I’m good enough for them, who are hot to be my friend one day and the next day give me the cold shoulder.” It says that you’re done with folks who are only happy when you’re unhappy or who can’t be happy for you. You know, folks who are competitive, jealous and think there’s not enough love or success to go around so that you both can feel great about yourselves. This statement says that you’re not going to wait around until somebody loves you because you’re doing what they like and think is right (aka their way). It says that you want to be loved and cherished as is, as a person as amazing and fragile as everyone else on the planet, without having to bend yourself like a pretzel into a shape that’s pleasing to them until you’ve forgotten what your original shape even was.
I hope you know what it feels like to have people celebrate you. When you tell them something prefaced by, “You may think I’m crazy, but…” they think what you did or said is awesome. When someone celebrates you, they let you know in no uncertain terms that their life would be far less without you in it, that you brighten their days and add something that no one else ever could. They support you in reaching your goals and get out of the way if they’ve been a barrier, they want you to put yourself first and wouldn’t dream of implying that you’re not capable, smart, strong, or clever enough to be whoever you want to be. Even when you disagree, you can feel the tug of their love underneath and how they hate the tension between the two of you as much as you do.
If we’re lucky, our parents celebrated us, not only our births and birthdays and other special occasions. They celebrated our uniqueness and valued it as much as they enjoyed how we were similar to them. They celebrated when we were successful and when we tried and failed because they were 100% behind us no matter what. They even celebrated when our dreams were a bit out of our league or our reach because they were impressed by our courage, creativity, or idealism. When you surround yourself only with people who celebrate you, the best part is that you can’t help but celebrate yourself. Now, how wonderful would that feel?
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