Think all of your memories function the same way? Think again because some memories are explicit and some are implicit. “Explicit memory refers to the conscious retrieval of past information or experiences, whereas implicit memory refers to an unintentional or nonconscious form of retrieval.” Okay, you might be saying to yourself, I get there’s a difference, but so what?

World renowned psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel explains in Healing Dissociative Identity Disorder that there’s a critical divide between these two types of memories and distinguishing between them leads to greater emotional regulation. He tells us that, “When we retrieve an implicit memory, we don’t know it’s from our past. It comes in the form of perceptions, emotions, beliefs, and sensations. The awareness of the memory is very much in conscious awareness, but that it is from the past is not.” 

That is, when implicit or unrecognized memories drive our reactions, we’re out of touch with what’s going on inside us. It’s as if someone else, without our knowledge, hijacks our car’s navigation system, moving us in a direction we don’t want to go in. Not a great way to live. 

Say you’re angry with your friend, Louise, for not inviting you to a concert with a group of her friends. You know you feel left out but may not recognize that your intense anger is related to your hurt when your three older brothers used to go off by themselves and leave you behind. The feelings you have now are strong and real, but what you’re not conscious of is that their intensity is not about Louise going off without you. The memory of your brothers’ abandonment may not pop up but its neglected, unwanted feelings do.

Best,

Karen