My client Pamela came to see me more than a decade ago for habitual overeating, unwanted snacking, bingeing, and emotional eating. She ended these behaviors a few years into our work and we moved on to discuss other subjects. In her late 70s, long divorced and living alone, she’d recently begun the process of moving from her home to a retirement community—finding a real estate agent, cleaning out and selling her three-story house, seeking interim living while her villa was being built, and managing the two moves ahead of her.

Though organized and intelligent, Pamela tended toward anxiety and admitted having succumbed to decision fatigue and feeling stressed. As the process moved along, she found herself occasionally once again looking to food for comfort. Although she had friends and family to share her emotional burdens with and other interests to distract her, she still sought out food to make herself feel better.

But she did it in a radically different way than she had before she’d resolved her eating problems with me. Now she sought out only nutritious foods to overeat. Although she might down a pint of ice cream, she purposely chose one that was low in sugar and calories. She understood that it was a processed food but knew she wouldn’t be eating like this often and granted herself the gift of enjoying it. Moreover, after she tossed the empty container, she didn’t feel guilty, regretful or ashamed of what she’d done. 

What Pamela did is called conscious emotional eating: Knowing you’re using food emotionally and not pretending you’re hungry or need to eat for some other reason. It involves honesty and is best done sparingly and with planning. Pamela used to munch on chips, but decided their ingredients would “hurt my body” and, therefore, intentionally avoided them. Obviously, from her choice of ice cream, she knew she craved something creamy and sweet—and she found and enjoyed it. 

In fact, after a hectic day, that’s what she ended up eating for dinner. She knew this would happen rarely and took pleasure in finishing a plate of ice cream knowing she felt “done” and had no desire to keep on eating it or other foods. She was full (well, maybe a bit overly full) and felt very satisfied. It did the trick!

She couldn’t have done what she did with food if she hadn’t already pretty much resolved her eating problems. She acted consciously and intentionally, considered how to cause the least harm to her body, ate mindfully with an eye toward pleasure, and suffered no guilt, shame, “shoulding” or rebelling. Quite an accomplishment! 

Best,

Karen