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Karen's Blogs

Blogs are brief, to-the-point, conversational and packed with information, strategies, and tips to turn troubled eaters into “normal” eaters and to help you enjoy a happier, healthier life.Sign up by clicking "Subscribe" below and they’ll arrive in your inbox. 

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Hanging with Healthy People

When I moved from Massachusetts to Florida, I sought out new connections with individuals and groups. Casting a wide net, I let intuition draw me to this or that person or organization. Over time, I culled my connections by following my interests and instincts, and by deciding which of them enhanced my physical and emotional well-being.

Do you seek optimum health in your connections? Regarding individuals, here are some things to look for. How an individual takes care of her or himself and treats others; manages emotions; grapples with problems; is there for you; is neither jealous of nor competitive with you; can engage in and tolerate disagreement; can be honest with you; is change, not-victim oriented; can talk about intimate issues and listen when you open up with the real you; values physical and emotional health and strives for it; and shares some of your passions, values, or interests.

When looking for a group to join, it’s also vital to have an idea of what you’re seeking and what you definitely want to avoid. During my life, I recall having been in several settings—educational and occupational--in which too much griping and groaning went on and not much fun or problem-solving. If you tend to see yourself as a victim, this type of group might feel right and familiar to you, but watch out. It’s best to seek out collective situations in which there’s a healthy, proactive, empowering mindset.

Notice how you feel in group settings. I recently left a group I’d been in for several years because I noticed that more and more I felt angry at the end of meetings and as if I were wasting my time. Initially, I’d loved this particular crowd, but over time some individuals I liked left and others I didn’t care for joined and the tone of our gatherings felt more hostile than relaxed. Another aspect of group assessment is how it functions. Is it dysfunctional like your family is or was and, therefore, feels familiar? If so, stay away. Look for groups that are well led, where people can be honest and open, where’s there’s fairness, enthusiasm, compassion, kindness, and compatibility among members.

If you frequently complain about a friend or group—old or new—that’s a signal that something is wrong with the connection. Usually it’s worthwhile to try to discuss your feelings to try to improve the relationship, but if you’ve done this to no avail, it’s time to say goodbye and move on. As your eating problems and life in general improve, you may find that you’re drawn to healthier people and groups. Surrounding yourself with healthy connections can do wonders to speed on your recovery.

The Importance of Phytochemicals
Developing a Brighter Outlook

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This website is owned and operated by Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed., LCSW. It contains material intended for informational and educational purposes only, and reasonable effort is made to keep its contents updated. Any material contained herein is not to be construed as the practice of clinical social work or of psychotherapy, although adherence to applicable Florida States, Rules, and Code of Ethics is observed. Material on this website is not intended as a substitute for medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment for mental health issues or eating disorder problems, which should be done only through individualized therapeutic consultation. Karen R. Koenig, LCSW disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained on this website. This website contains links to other sites. The inclusion of such links does not necessarily constitute endorsement by Karen R. Koenig, LCSW who disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any information contained in this website. Further, Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, does not and cannot guarantee the accuracy or current usefulness of the material contained in the linked sites. Users of any website must be aware of the limitation to confidentiality and privacy, and website usage does not carry any guarantee or privacy of any information contained therein.  Privacy Policy