Many disregulated eaters have emotional or interpersonal problems which truly stand in the way of not only eliminating their food challenges, but living a more satisfying life. We all strain and struggle with changing ourselves, but if you want the best life you can have, there is no other way to achieve it but by addressing what’s holding you back.

Here are several “big” issues, with which you may or may not identify, all of which are changeable with patience and effort. Each of us has lessons to learn and areas to improve, so notice which of the following have your name on them and set an intent to give them your undivided attention.

Perhaps you would benefiting from learning the art of self-reflection. Because you don’t care to dwell on painful feelings about the past or rush around unmindfully, you miss out on learning from them. You “do what you have to do,” which is a sad way of living, rather than considering what you could do to live a more fulfilling life.
Perhaps you complain about or actively refuse to experience uncomfortable emotions. You push away painful feelings and keep wishing they didn’t exist, failing to recognize that acknowledging and experiencing emotional pain is as necessary a part of life as breathing or laughter.
Perhaps you’re afraid of change and say you wish to be different, but do little or nothing to make it happen. Maybe you’ve dug yourself into a rut, waiting for someone to rescue you, or are so used to complaining about your circumstances and being a victim that you forget your choices are creating your misery.
Perhaps you’re so wedded to guilt and shame that you feel selfish when you do anything positive for yourself. You think it’s okay for others to do these positive things for themselves, but consider yourself an exception to the rule. You don’t realize that with a mighty effort you can push away shame and guilt and enjoy the pleasures that life has to offer.

I’m not putting down any of you who have these attitudes or behaviors. My aim is to help you recognize where you’re stuck and help you get unstuck, but I can’t do that without pointing out what I see as the problem. Likewise, you won’t change unless and until you can clearly see, value, and embrace the life lessons which are as plain as the nose on your face. What big issues do you want to work on? Pick one and make it your business to fix it. I guarantee that whichever one you choose will improve your eating.