At a party this summer, I ended up engaging in a hazard of my profession, observing people eat. There were a variety of party-goers at the event—mixed gender, from all classes and walks of life. An interesting crowd but, sadly, not a mindful eating one. My table was close by the buffet, so I was able to watch the party-goers shuttling back and forth seeking food. I was struck by the size of the portions taken. Plates were medium-sized and most folks heaped them so high and full that all I could see was food, no plate. There was variety on each one, a bit of everything—or, rather, more than a bit. Nearly all those at my table cleaned their plates when the food was only so-so--a self- confessed non- foodie, I know a tasty dish from a ho-hum one and most of these were passable at best. There were lots...

A number of years ago, the book FRENCH WOMEN DON’T GET FAT by Mireille Guiliano was all the rage. Although I read some time after its publication that, in fact, French women were getting fatter, the book has merit, laying out how French women view and consume food in a way that contrasts sharply with the attitudes and behaviors of American women. Recently I ran across a more analytical take on the subject. In a Newsweek article entitled “Divided We Eat” (11/20/10), Lisa Miller examines American attitudes about food and eating. She cites the views of Claude Fischler, a French sociologist, who maintains that Americans can fight weight gain and food insecurity by thinking more like the French do about food: “Americans take an approach to food and eating that is unlike any other people in history, regarding food primarily as (good or bad) nutrition. When asked, ‘What is eating well?’...

Over the years I’ve encountered a number of disregulated eaters who blame their poor eating habits on hating to food shop, plan meals, and cook. Unlike foodies, they enjoy eating, but abhor the activities that get the food on the table. If that describes you, you’ll have to change your thinking on the subject if you want to overcome your food problems and eat healthfully. I understand. Although I enjoy creating a fine feast for occasional dinner guests, I’m not a huge fan of fussing over food for myself. Luckily, due to divergent eating schedules and food preferences, my husband (Mr. Macrobiotic) and I usually fend for ourselves in the kitchen. Between clients, writing, and other commitments, I eat plain, small, real-food “meals” (sometimes too small to actually be called a meal) that are usually broiled, microwaved, or made in a rice cooker. Tasty and satisfying but no muss, no fuss....

In my work, I’ve met many women who are relentlessly driven toward purity. To be sure, there are men out there as well who yearn to be flawless or perfect, but the need seems to come with the cultural territory of being female. It’s a compulsion that can take over your life, ruin your chance for happiness, and make being a “normal” eater impossible. Purity isn’t quite the same as perfection. Without heading for the dictionary, let’s say that purity makes us want to be sparkly clean inside. We never want to have an untoward thought or an unkind feeling. We want to be holy and better than, to rise above it all—whatever “it” is—and be a flesh-and-blood ideal of humanity, a contradiction if there ever was one. As you read this description, does it seem natural and healthy to you? Moreover, does it seem doable? If so, at what cost...

I was talking with a client a while ago who had done a great deal of binge-eating on vacation. Although I kept asking her about the sights and people she’d seen, she would not stop talking about how awful her eating had been and how ashamed she was. Clearly, we were not experiencing her binge-eating the same way. It seems that her having spent a great deal of time “eating herself into oblivion,” as she described it, totally overshadowed the fact that she was touring a part of the country she’d never seen with dear friends. We discussed how excited she’d been about the vacation and her plan not to let anything get in the way of enjoying it. She said that she’d eaten fairly “normally” the first few days away, then overate one night, and hadn’t reregulated her eating after that. Every day she’d awakened vowing to eat mindfully, and...

I was talking with a client a while ago who had done a great deal of binge-eating on vacation. Although I kept asking her about how she’d enjoyed her trip, she would not stop talking about her awful eating and how ashamed she was of ruining her vacation. Clearly, we were not experiencing her binge-eating in the same way. The problem was that repeatedly “eating herself into oblivion,” as she described it, had totally overshadowed the fact that she’d been touring a part of the country she’d never seen with her close friends, a trip she’d long anticipated. We discussed how excited she’d been about the vacation and her plan not to let anything get in the way of enjoying it. In fact, she reported having eaten fairly “normally” the first few days away, then overeating one night which continued nonstop. Every day she’d awakened vowing to eat mindfully, and every...

Not on, but after Thanksgiving, members of my "Food and Feelings"  message board were struggling with having overeaten. Many ate fairly “normally” on the holiday itself, only to find themselves bingeing and engaged in unwanted eating later that night or the next day. If you engaged in this eating pattern, you can make sure it doesn’t happen again. Two thoughts. First is that holidays are often doubly stressful for troubled eaters. Not only are you faced with family, travel, unstructured or differently structured time, and perhaps less chance to exercise, but you have your eating problem to contend with, which includes being around varied and challenging foods and feeling thrown off your eating schedule. Many of you work very hard to eat healthfully and mindfully with family on a holiday—and do a great job of it. You come away from a holiday meal proud of your success, knowing it was no...

I often speak with clients after they’ve had a whopper of a binge. Even days or weeks afterward, they can usually recall every painful detail of what they consider to be a major act of self-destruction. But is bingeing really so harmful? Now, before I receive hate mail insisting that bingeing on fat and sugar can’t be anything but unhealthy, I’ll agree with you. A little fat and sugar, okay, but gobs aren’t good for our bodies. Then again, neither is overeating this same amount of calories spread over days or weeks. But many regular overeaters pay scant attention to consuming more food than their bodies need as a matter of habit and don’t get down on themselves. They think, “Oh, I just have a big appetite” or “So what if I ate past full?” My point is that if you generally eat “normally” or healthfully (which may or may not...

What gives you the most trouble with eating—sit-down meals (in or out) or snacking? If the answer is snacking, it’s time to direct your energy and focus to changing your between-meal eating which, in turn, will improve your entire relationship with food. We used to have most, if not all, our food interactions sitting at a table with others. In fact, much of our eating was done at actual mealtimes. We used to eat a piece of fruit, crackers, or peanut butter to tide us over between lunch and dinner, lick an ice cream cone while out and about, munch popcorn at the movies, enjoy cotton candy at the circus or a red candy-apple after ice skating, and maybe snack on chips and dip before a late-night supper. Even these snacks, however, were generally eaten with our fannies planted firmly on some kind of seat—but rarely a car seat unless you...

If you’ve struggled to improve your eating and health to little avail, you may feel as if you’ve failed at the process. What you may not realize is that you’ve not been making this attempt in a vacuum. Yes, there may be internal factors that make it difficult for you to eat “normally,” but there are also external ones that may be undermining success. Health writer Jane Brody, describes these factors in Why, Oh Why, Are We So Fat? (Sarasota Herald-Tribune 9/20/11). Aside from wishing the article’s title said “Unhealthy” rather than “Fat,” I find Brody’s assessment of cultural changes affecting eating and activity level right on. It’s important to recognize how society has shaped us—as well as to understand how we’ve shaped ourselves—because there are substantial overt and covert external factors impacting our attitudes about and behavior around food. Brody asserts that Americans began to gain weight steadily in the...

Here’s an interesting headline—“Food habituation may help weight loss”—from a nutrition newsletter summarizing results of a study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition (8/11). The results support what intuitive eating professionals have been advising for decades: habituating to a food can help you avoid overeating it. The summary in Environmental Nutrition (10/11) says: “The effects of food habituation—a form of learning in which repeated exposure leads to decreased response—was investigated in a study of 16 obese and 16 non-obese women, who were randomly assigned to receive a macaroni and cheese meal five times, either daily for one week or once a week for five weeks. In both obese and non-obese women, daily presentation of the food resulted in faster habituation and less calorie intake than did once-weekly presentation of the food. This study supports the theory that the habitual presentation of a small variety—compared with a wide variety—of calorie-dense...

At a workshop I taught in Asheville, NC, a clinician raised an important question to ask yourself after eating: How does food make me feel? Here’s why. Because the experience of eating extends beyond laying down your fork or spoon, a fifth rule of “normal” eating might be to ask yourself, “How did what, how much, and when I ate make me feel?” To process your answer fully, you’ll have to ask this three-part question more than once—immediately after your meal, a few hours later, then many hours later, maybe even the next day. Your answers can then be used to determine whether you want to repeat the eating experience again as is or not. Part one of the question is about what you eat. How does your body respond to meat, vegetables, fruits, processed foods, fried foods, spicy dishes, sugar, fat, dairy or wheat products? Does it feel pleasant or...

In terms of proving why it’s important to eat mindfully and without distractions, this blog may be the most important one you’ll ever read. For years, experts have been telling you to eat with focused attention, which means, at least while you’re learning to become a “normal” eater, not doing anything else while you’re eating. Now we know why failing to do so hinders behavioral change and why following that advice generates success. In Grow your mind: the truth about how to boost your brain’s performance (NEWSWEEK, 1/10-1/17/11), science reporter Sharon Begley explains how the brain grows. She begins by stating that “…attention is almost magical in its ability to physically alter the brain and enlarge functional circuits,” then details the results of an experiment in which one set of monkeys focuses exclusively on learning a task and the other half learns the task while receiving other sensory input. No surprise—only...

Clients say that the reason they overeat or eat when they’re not hungry is because they simply “love” food—but I don’t buy it. I know foodies who eat “normally” and folks who eat so quickly and inattentively that they couldn’t possibly enjoy it. Justifying unwanted eating by saying you love food will not help you overcome disregulated eating. A relevant anecdote. At a party over the holidays, I watched a woman shuttle back and forth to the dessert table, piling her plate high with as many sweets as it would hold. Then she’d sit down and chat with friends until the food was gone and do the same thing all over again, telling them, “I love food. I can’t help myself.” My heart went out to her because I used to eat exactly the same way. In the meantime, I’d found some Turkish sweets I hadn’t had in decades, took two...

Here’s a lament I hear repeatedly from clients: I was out and got really hungry and since I didn’t have any food with me, I ended up eating food I really didn’t want and now I feel crummy and mad at myself. Sound familiar? If so, why not start planning ahead? When they’re going out with children, parents (and other adults) know the kids will get hungry and, therefore, plan ahead. In fact, who’d ever think of taking out the brood without packing a snack? Knowing they’ll need nourishment, this task becomes part of the going-out routine. The question is why more adults don’t think ahead this same way knowing that they’ll get hungry if they don’t eat for several hours. Why indeed? In part, this omission is about poor self-care. Planning for nutrient needs is part of doing what’s healthy and self-valuing, a way of saying, “Nourishing myself is vitally...

I’m fascinated by brain chemistry and behavioral change, especially knowing that we can learn to think/act/feel in new ways. In fact, more and more scientific evidence points to the brain’s amazing neuro-plasticity. That means that it’s time to stop saying you think/feel/behave a certain way regarding food or weight and, therefore, must continue—and start thinking and talking about doing things differently. You’ve probably heard that “neurons that fire together wire together,” meaning that paired activities, or activities and thoughts or feelings, bond on a biochemical level the more they occur at the same time. Such as habituating to snacking as soon as you walk in the door after work, mindlessly having a dish of ice cream every night while watching the news, or thinking about being fat as shameful and disgusting. Repeated pairing of these activities reinforces neural pathways that will stay paired. Whether or not you’re aware of this cause...

There are times when I read new, scientific theories about the brain and food that I struggle about whether to blog about them or not. Quite frankly, more and more of the research these days indicates that eating and weight are biologically based. So, I think to myself, is it better to have the latest scientific observations even though they prove that our biology strongly underlies eating difficulties, or might it generate feelings of stuckness and hopelessness in readers. Fair warning, this is one of those blogs. According to an article in SCIENCE NEWS (10/22/11), Brain may subvert efforts to diet by Janet Raloff, “In obese people, even when the brain knows the body isn’t hungry, it responds to food as if it were. In normal-weight people, a neural reward system that reinforces positive feelings associated with food turns off when levels of the blood sugar glucose return to normal after...

One of the most effective changes you can make to stop overeating, is to s-l-o-w down. Compared to slow eaters, fast eaters recall less about what they’ve eaten, want to eat again sooner, and are more prone to weight gain. In fact, there’s evidence for a correlation between the pace at which we eat and the quantity of food eaten. Two University of Rhode Island studies prove this point. One compared eating rates and calories consumed for men and women. Rapid eaters ate “about 3.1 ounces of food per minute, versus 2.5 ounces per minute for medium-speed eaters and 2 ounces per minute for slow eaters.” Which category do you fall into? If you’re a fast eater, aim to become a medium-paced eater and if you’re already one, set your sights on becoming a slow eater. More news—it seems that, on the whole, men consume more calories at a sitting than...

I wonder how many of you read the title of this blog and immediately groaned, “That’s probably me, alright.” Although it’s true that many overeaters carry a gene that makes them more inclined to obesity, your bummed-out response may not be as warranted as you think. Remember that weight is a bio-psycho-social issue. According to Beating the Obesity Gene (PARADE, 10/12/08), it’s true that genes can predispose you to overweight. The obesity gene, called FTO, “is found in more than half of some populations. And those with two copies of the gene are 70% more likely to be obese than noncarriers.” If your parents and grandparents are/were overweight, you’re a product of genes that have been passed down through generations. Remember, however, that a mere few hundred years ago you would have been happy about this inheritance because, during much of history, carrying extra pounds was a distinct health and longevity...

Over the years I’ve blogged on frustration tolerance and delaying gratification from the behavioral perspective. Now science tells us that specific parts of the brain influence our ability to defer pleasure (or not). In particular, research conclusions on spending versus saving tell us a lot about our eating patterns and their bio-psycho-social origins. Science tells us that there are measurable differences in the brain between folks who save or spend (NEWSWEEK, November 7/14, 2011), “…particularly in the areas of the brain that predict consequences, process the sense of reward, spur motivation, and control memory.” So maybe the fact that you struggle with delaying gratification and have difficulty saying no to food while others don’t is as biological as it is learned behavior. The prefrontal cortex of the brain, it seems, calms down messages that we receive from our midbrain which scream, “I want it and I want it now!” But “…the...

While reading an article entitled Therapists and climate change by Garry Cooper (PSYCHOTHERAPY NETWORKER, 10-11/2011), I was amazed at the parallels that occur between repairing and protecting our natural world and attending to appetite. Turns out that both share similar psychological dynamics. A quote in the article on climate consciousness from The myth of apathy, an article by Renee Lertzman who teaches about psychology and sustainability, resonates with me: “…what appears to be apathy is really a ‘tangle’ of confusion, emotions and desires,” resulting in a gap between values and behaviors. Lertzman is saying that people have mixed feelings: On the one hand, they want to save the environment and, on the other, their every day behaviors contribute to destroying it. In psychology, this type of unconscious conflict involves denial, when fears and uncomfortable feelings and thoughts are pushed out of awareness. What looks like indifference or disinterest in change is...

So many disregulated eaters want desperately to trust their appetite. However, focusing on trusting it per se is nothing but a red herring. Rather than trust it, you need only to follow it because it knows what it’s doing whether you trust it or not. Say, you’re driving and get a flat, so you open your trunk to get out a tire iron. To fix your flat, do you need to trust the tire iron or use it to loosen the lug nuts? I’d say, those nuts aren’t budging unless you put that iron into action. Maybe you think the tire iron is old and rusted and won’t work. Doubt makes no difference. Trusting or believing isn’t going to get you back on the road. If you want to fix the flat, you’ll have to use the iron to the best of your ability to loosen those lug nuts. Similarly, you...

Disregulated eaters often find that tips and techniques in managing cravings are as useful as understanding what drives unwanted eating. We know that our mental attitude affects how we feel in our bodies and vice versa, but what about our posture? Could that affect our emotions and actions around food? Turns out that it might. In “The right stance can be reassuring” (Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 6/11/13, Health and Fitness, p. 7E), Kate Murphy reports that “expansive postures release a flood of hormones that make you feel more positive and at ease. Striking a commanding pose can change how you perceive yourself….” She says that recent studies suggest that “posture may precipitate, rather than just reflect emotions. How you carry yourself can actually change your mood, which greatly affects how you approach situations and solve problems…” This makes sense. Think of what actors do to get into playing a part: they walk or...

I love good fiction, but when it comes to eating and food, give me the unvarnished truth every time. Here are some surprising facts on the subject from the Nutrition Action Newsletter (June, 2013). At least they’re considered true for now, but who knows what will be when the next batch of scientific studies come along. Do emotional eaters only overeat when they’re unhappy? According to the results of a Dutch study, they overeat when they’re happy too. Study participants were shown upbeat and downbeat film clips, offered sugary/salty/fatty foods and filled out pre-and post-questionnaires about their moods. Those who indicated they were emotional eaters and watched the upbeat clips ate more than those who watched the downbeat clips. Non-emotional eaters ate the same number of calories whichever clip they watched. So stay aware of the potential for emotional eating when you’re happy.Does skipping breakfast put weight on you? Although some...

Many disregulated eaters are wildly influenced by how folks around them eat. If people eat healthfully, they do too. If folks eat carelessly, they struggle with how to eat or give up and go with the mindless flow. Fact is, we carry our appetite with us wherever we go to always guide our eating. I was reminded of this truth when we had friends staying with us who were about to visit other friends and remarked on the difference in eating experiences in both places. My husband and I generally eat healthfully by choosing foods which nourish our bodies and we focus on satisfying food experiences. In contrast, my friends’ other friends ate a lot of “junk” food and ignored the rules of “normal” eating. At our home, our friends enjoyed having nutritious food choices available and doing pleasurable activities with us besides eating, but were anxious about how they would...

A client recently had a eureka moment when she realized that she didn’t have an eating problem per se, but a psycho-emotional one that was driving her food abuse. She felt tremendous relief in identifying her actual, underlying problem which pointed the way toward more helpful solutions. Here are some possible problems you might have. Most disregulated eaters have high anxiety and use food to self-soothe. Eating is a symptom, not a root cause. Discussing their history, they recognize that family members also have anxiety issues which manifested in drinking, rigidity, a need to control, anger, perfectionism, worry, and people-pleasing. They can see how their anxious parents modeled and generated anxiety in them. The solution is to change anxiety-promoting beliefs, lower stress, and practice self-soothing and stress-reduction techniques. Troubled eaters often are depressed and use food to generate pleasure and lift their mood. Usually they can find a thread of depression...

Ah, the power of habit. We cherish our “good” ones and loathe our “bad” ones. Nowhere is this truer than in the eating and lifestyle arenas. The truth is, we understand very little about the purpose of habits and how to alter them. Learning more about the process of habit formation is the best way to succeed at changing them. Charles Duhigg, author of THE POWER OF HABIT, offers some wisdom on the subject (“Strengthening New Year’s Resolutions,” Psychotherapy Networker, Jan/Feb 2013). He reports on the conclusions of a Duke University study: “40-45% of people’s daily actions are habits or unconscious decisions.” Whoa, we’re talking about almost half of what we do! He explains that habits are a kind of “functional autopilot mechanism,” that is, they free up the brain to focus on more important matters than, say, whether to brush your teeth before or after you wash your face. His...

If you do nothing else to improve your relationship with food, practice mindful eating. C’mon, now, it’s not that difficult to do. Trust me, it will speed your recovery faster than you’d ever believe. Think: more mindfulness, less food abuse. According to Appetite may be driven by your memory by Melissa Healy (Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 12/25/12), “Too much distraction, too little attention, food presentation—such as large dishes that distort our assessment of portion size—can play havoc with our food memories. And eventually…with our waistlines.” This conclusion comes from a study on actual versus perceived portion size in the journal Public Library of Science One. In the study, unbeknownst to participants, the researchers manipulated the amount of food they received. When questioned about their hunger later, after eating, “subjects’ memories of the meal they saw—not the one they ate—seemed to be most influential.” Even a day later, participants’ memories of what they’d seen...

One feeling that drives disregulated eaters towards food is not being in control of a situation. That’s a difficult position for all of us to be in and our perspective informs our attitude toward how we handle it. The more rational your views on what you can and can’t control, the more likely you won’t eat when control is out of your hands. The world is a chaotic place—nature does its thing, world events impact us socially, culturally and financially, people push their own agenda’s, accidents befall us, and our bodies get sick and grow old. Inescapably, helplessness is at its worst when we’re very young or very old. Of course, the more we rail against it, the worse we feel. The world can be indifferent, unfair, and cruel. It is a peculiarly human notion, part of our egocentricity, however, that life throws things at us. It really doesn't. Life just...

I hesitate writing about some of the biology related to eating and weight because I don’t want readers to feel that their biology is fixed and a done deal. There are genetic and metabolic factors which strongly influence appetite and body size, but lifestyle still plays a large role in both. I blog about biology because I want readers to be well informed. The article “Gut brain link tied to overeating” by Cristy Gelling (Science News, 10/5/13) describes how overeating can be, in part, caused by faulty communication between the gut and brain. Experiments on mice may lead to a strategy of repairing that faulty communication in compulsive eaters. Here’s the gist of the study done with mice based on the supposition that “the more food a person consumes, the less responsive the brain becomes to the pleasure of eating.” In these experiments, it turns out that “by restoring normal communication...

Here are my rules for “normal” holiday eating. Study them now and review every day through the holidays. Say them aloud. Carry them with you. Make them your bible. Think of food as delicious and nutritious, nothing more. It has no value beyond these two attributes. It will neither solve your problems nor lift your mood. Don’t restrict what you eat over the holidays. “Putting foods on a do-not-eat list only makes you crave them more, according to a Canadian study, and Israeli scientists found that having a little bit of sweets every day helped dieters shed 15 pounds more on average than those who didn’t indulge in desserts.” (TIME, 12/9/13, p. 18)Eat slowly and mindfully and savor every bite. Make sure you’re enjoying what you’re eating. Unless you’re starving, if it’s not fabulous, stop eating it. Visualize yourself feeling and acting relaxed around all foods no matter what your dining...

Clients keep teaching me more and more about dysfunctional eating. For instance, that it’s not really food that compulsive or emotional eaters want but the idea of what they wish/hope/perceive food will bring them. This is a crucial distinction. Disregulated eaters turn to food to relax, unwind, kick back, let loose, de-stress, whatever you want to call it. This is what you’re seeking, what you erroneously perceive as the end result of eating or of eating particular kinds of foods. When we’re hungry, our bodies signal wanting food through rumbling bellies, hollowness in the chest, headaches, and light-headedness. When hungry, our bodies aren’t satisfied by watching TV or taking a walk. Alternately, stress signals that our bodies need to relax. When we dive head first into a box of past-the-pull date, tasteless dry cereal, we can’t possibly be into “the food.” Or when we snarf down the leftover crackers we’re putting...

I don’t know about you, but I get really, really angry when I read about how the food industry steers us toward eating high fat/sugar/salt food. The truth is that what seems like a conspiracy to tempt you with sweets and treats is actually a conspiracy. The best way to defend against being manipulated is to know the truth about the industry’s goals and methods—and to use your critical thinking skills to avoid being manipulated. According to a review of SALT SUGAR FAT: HOW THE FOOD GIANTS HOOKED US by Michael Moss (Psychotherapy Networker, “The taste bud conspiracy” by Diane Cole, 7-8/2013), “The food industry has meticulously researched and orchestrated our cravings for food.” Uh huh. And here you thought it was simply your lack of “will power” or “self-discipline” that’s driven your compulsive eating. Of course, you want to be accountable for your behavior, but be careful not to blame...

I had a good laugh with a client, a perfectly capable, highly competent woman, over her telling me she just couldn’t plan meals ahead. This happens often when clients insist this task is far too tough for them. Ha! I don’t believe it for a minute. When a client says, “But I just don’t know what I’ll want for lunch” or “I’m so tired after work, I simply don’t care what I eat” or “It’s too much trouble to plan food ahead,” I know that something else is amiss. My usual rejoinder is, “Your career is challenging” or “Having a job like yours and taking care of three kids is a lot of work. But, hard? Being President of the United States or living on the streets is hard, but, food planning? C’mon.” Such contrasts helps clients see how ludicrous their protests are. Fact is, meal planning is not all that...

Too many disregulated eaters have low regard for themselves and, therefore, don’t take care of themselves as if they’re deserving of high-quality self care. For those of you who think you’re defective and aren’t worth eating healthfully, here’s another take on the subject and how you might have mistakenly come to think about things incorrectly. Take this scenario. As a young child, let’s say your mother or father or both frequently criticized you, raged at you out of the blue over petty concerns, and treated you as if your needs were wrong or didn’t matter. In your child’s limited brain, you assumed they were treating you poorly because there was something wrong with you. The equation goes like this: they treat me as if there’s something bad about me, so there must be. Now, let’s move away from you personally and take a look at three situations, all anecdotes from my...

The brain is an amazing organ, but it’s not as clever or evolved as we think it is. For instance, we may think we’re telling it to do one thing, while it hears our instruction as just the opposite. Not great when you’re trying to avoid unwanted eating. Here’s a common mistake—and its fix—for handing unwelcome food urges. I bet that when you want to deter yourself from heading for the drive-through on the way home from work or getting up from working at the computer to check out what’s in your kitchen cabinets (for the umpteenth time), you’re probably telling yourself something like, “I can’t eat that now” or “I really don’t want to eat that.” It’s a common enough tactic that we’ve been encouraged to take: tell yourself what want to do, not what you don’t want to do, right? Except that these words actually may be driving you...

The debate about whether or not sugar and fat are addictive has gone on for decades. When it began and for long after, the evidence, though inconclusive, leaned toward the negative. Now, according to Laura Beil in “The snack-food trap” (Newsweek, 11/5/12), consensus may be tipping toward the affirmative. Although there are strong, credible challenges to the concept of food as addictive, it seems that “especially in studies of rodents, the brain appears to uniquely draw us to high-calorie, low-nutrient foods…” Mark Gold, chairman of psychiatry at the University of Florida, has done studies which “point to the possibility that eating may satisfy the same brain cravings that drive a person to addictive tobacco, alcohol, and drug use.” The article underscores, however, that not everyone who is “overweight” may suffer from addiction, just as some people drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, and experiment with drugs like cocaine and oxycodone, but do not...

Here’s a snippet of dialogue I have at least once a week with clients. They say, “It’s hard to eat without distraction. It’s weird and I don’t like it.” And I say, “Understanding how you’ve changed in other areas will help you form a new habit in this one.” I vividly recall one such conversation with a client who insisted that it felt intolerable not to watch TV/read/play computer games/answer emails while she was eating, but agreed that the discomfort was probably more habit than anything else. I explained that neurons that fire together wire together, and that her eating while doing other things for decades had fused the two together though they don’t rationally belong that way. Remember, any activities you repeatedly do concurrently will became habitual. What makes disregulated eaters expect that they can learn to eat “normally” while doing another activity? I asked one client, a yoga instructor,...

Many of you do fine with food when you’re busy with activities or socializing with people, but as soon as you’re alone, you get all squirrely and head for the fridge. Well, it turns out that humans seem to have a bias against solitude, according to “People find solitude distressing” (Science News, 8/9/14, p. 12). Perhaps better understanding how humans—and how you—feel about solitude will help you avoid mindless eating. Says Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, “The human mind wants to engage with the world.” He and his colleagues maintain that thoughts are difficult to control, as is trying to make sure they’re pleasant. It helps to hear that this is true so that we don’t think we’re the only ones trying—and failing—to keep a clear and positive mindset. Wilson goes on to say that “Mammalian minds evolved to track external dangers and opportunities. Only humans acquired...

Several months ago I had intestinal testing which involved 24 hours of fasting, including some hours with liquids but mostly without. Being forced to abstain from food reminded me of what appetite, especially true hunger, is all about. Knowing I’d be hungry and permitted to eat a “light” breakfast and lunch, I tried to bulk up in preparation for a day without nourishment. I usually eat small amounts every few hours or so because that’s how my body likes to take in food. I don’t care to be full because it reminds me of my binge-eating days and I don’t like to feel starving because it reminds me of my dieting days. So frequent, small meals suit me perfectly. Before I talk about my hunger, let me back up a bit and describe what it was like to eat prophylactically and be stuffed with food. Suddenly I was super conscious of...

Slowing down your eating is one of the most effective ways to enjoy food more and, if it is your goal, to eat less. Need proof? Here’s a summary of a brief article, “Not so fast” (Nutrition Action Healthletter, 5/14, p. 8, source: J. Acad. Nutr. Diet: 114: 393, 2014). “Eating slowly may help you eat less. Scientists offered 35 normal-weight and 35 overweight or obese men and women a huge portion of the same lunch (pasta with tomatoes, olive oil, parmesan cheese, garlic, herbs, and spices) on two separate occasions. On the ‘fast’ eating day, the participants were told to eat their lunches as quickly as possible without feeling uncomfortable, to take large bites and chew quickly, and to not pause or put down their utensils between bites. They typically finished eating in 9 minutes. On the ‘slow’ eating day, they were told not to rush, to take small bites...

Two clients recently mentioned “feeling different about food” recently. When I asked if they could describe what the difference was, they couldn’t explain it, but were adamant that something had changed within them. That’s what we call a psychological shift and, when it happens, you may not understand what caused it, but you darn well know that it happened. I had such a shift recently while thinking about someone I knew and was fond of decades ago. I was thinking about how much fun he was and the good times we shared, when suddenly I saw him in a completely different light, as not really an honorable man. His deceitfulness suddenly completely overshadowed his fun-loving qualities, and he was no longer a man I felt fondness for, but someone who, at heart, I knew was not a very trustworthy person. And since that day, I’ve never been able to get back that...

I had an experience dining at the house of a friend that was echoed by an eating problem a client brought in to discuss. It’s a frequent occurrence: you’re invited to a party, dinner, or brunch at someone’s home and wonder how to handle eating. There is no one way, but it’s worthwhile to explore several approaches to this common situation. First off, if you know people well, you can ask what food will be served and the approximate time of the meal. At the least, you can inquire about the what if not the when. In my case, I was invited to a late lunch and I’m used to eating my mid-day meal around noon. Knowing I had to adjust my schedule or I’d be starving by the time we ate, I had a late breakfast. So, think about timing and how that will work with your usual eating hours....

It’s very common as you’re learning new behaviors to make the same “errors” around food repeatedly. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It simply takes a good deal of practice for the brain to rewire. Not being hard on yourself in the process will help you learn faster. I call this repetition of learning experiences duh and re-duh, meaning that you realize you’ve made a choice not in your best interest yet do it again—and again. Maybe it’s swinging by Dairy Queen after work, bringing the bottle of wine and bag of chips along with you as you watch evening TV, or skipping breakfast and ending up so famished at before lunch that you mindlessly grab a donut or two when you pass by the break room. Each time this happens, post-eating you realize that the outcome is the same—the triumvirate of regret, guilt and shame. Yet, each time before the event,...

Many disregulated eaters say they feel as if they have an on-off switch with eating. Now, it seems that researchers may have found evidence to back up this belief. At least in mice, there seems to be an open-shut valve when it comes to food. Through experiments which compelled full mice to keep eating and hungry mice to avoid food, researchers have identified the cells that control our appetite switch. University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill scientists used a laser on the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis (or BNST) in the brains of mice to either excite or quiet them (Science News, 11/2/13, “On-off switch for eating discovered”). “When a laser activated these BNST neurons, the mice became ravenous…As soon as you turn it on, they start eating and they don’t stop until you turn it off,” says Garret Stuber, one of the study leaders. The laser also was...

If you’re a parent, you’re probably concerned about teaching your kids to be “normal” eaters. Of course, you wonder how you could possibly raise a child without food problems when you have them yourself and have been confused about eating for most of your life. Here are some tips to guide you. First, off realize that it’s a myth that kids don’t like and won’t eat vegetables and that they crave only sugary, fat-laden treats. Please, it’s been in our DNA for hundreds of thousands of years to consume a plant-based diet. That’s most of what was available way back when and we’ve evolved fairly well eating fruits and vegetables. So, understand from the get go that most kids find nothing inherently wrong with them.    According to “Getting your children to eat their veggies” (Sarasota Herald Tribune, 8/13/13), research supports the following rules: “Grown ups and kids eat the same...

There’s been a debate raging for decades about whether it matters for weight loss what time you eat. Some experts say yes and some no. Not that I’m pushing weight loss here, because I’m not, but if you’re trying to shed pounds, it pays to know what will help and hinder that process. A new study says that when you eat does make a difference. “A study in the International Journal of Obesity lends supports to the idea that eating earlier in the day is better, at least if you are trying to lose weight.” (University of CA, Berkeley Wellness Letter, 11/13, page 4). In fact, according to researchers, “the timing of the main meal by itself seems to be the most determinant factor in weight-loss effectiveness, and therefore eating at the right time may be a relevant factor to consider in weight-loss therapies.” I don’t do weight-loss therapy or coaching,...

A complaint I often hear when dysregulated eaters embark on “normal” eating is that, once they give themselves permission to eat whatever they want, they eat without restraint and gain weight. I turns out that they’re following rule #2, choosing foods they think they’ll enjoy, but not rules #1, 2, and 4. So, here’s a mini-refresher course. You can read or reread The Rules of “Normal” Eating for a more comprehensive review. When you begin trying to eat intuitively or what I’d call in a normal, regulated manner, do you attend to the rule that says to eat mostly when you’re moderately hungry? This means not seeking food until and unless your body craves it enough to maximally enjoy it. It does not mean to jump at a chance to eat because you had one measly hunger pain. Nor does it mean to wait to eat until you think you may...

Many dysregulated eaters choose and eat foods impulsively. They see food and grab it. Or they wait until they’re too hungry to think straight and go for what’s quickest to prepare or easiest to swallow. To turn around these behaviors, researchers explain how planning ahead helps to make wiser food choices. “Try planning your meal before you get hungry” by Roni Caryn Rabin (Sarasota Herald Tribune, 8/23/16, E24) describes why thinking about food ahead of time improves our ability to choose better foods for ourselves. Carnegie Mellon University experiments “found that when there was a significant delay between the time people ordered their food and the time they planned on eating it, they chose lower-calorie meals. What was interesting, researchers said, was that the participants were not making a conscious choice to order less. Most didn’t even realize they were choosing lower-calorie options.” Eric M. VanEpps, a postdoctoral student who led...

I’ve heard many people of higher weight say that they really don’t think they eat more or more unhealthfully than thinner folks—and now science has proven them right. “Not all dieters are created equal” by Tina Hesman Saey (Science News, 1/9/16, p. 8) explains how we have differing metabolic responses to food, particularly to sugar, and provides one more reason to stop comparing our eating and our bodies. “People’s blood sugar rises or falls differently even when they eat the same fruit, bread, desserts, pizza and many other foods, researchers reported in the November 19 Cell. The discovery came after fitting 800 people with blood glucose monitors for a week. The people ate standard breakfasts supplied by the researchers. Although the volunteers all ate the same food, their blood glucose levels after eating varied dramatically.” The researchers’ conclusion: “blood sugar spikes after eating depend ‘not only on what you eat, but...