Are you someone who keeps ping-ponging between self care and “I don’t care”? If so, my new book, STARTING MONDAY—SEVEN KEYS TO A PERMANENT, POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD (Gürze Books), will teach you how to resolve your mixed feelings so you can establish consistent self-care with food and your body.
The book was born out of the laments I hear daily from troubled eaters who insist that they’re lazy, crazy, and defective because they don’t do what is best for themselves all, or even most, of the time. The fact is, when your intentions and behavior don’t align—you insist you want to eat healthfully or go to the gym regularly but don’t, or do it for a while, then quit—it’s not a sign of mental illness or moral depravity, but of mental conflict. What you’re suffering from is a chronic case of mixed motivations which, when resolved, will open you up to clear sailing toward your eating and fitness goals.
Most likely, you have no idea that you hold conflicting feelings and are aware only of your positive motivations. Why on earth, you might wonder, would anyone not want to be fit and healthy? Well, STARTING MONDAY is about seven key areas that answer that question, by explaining your underlying, generally unconscious conflicts about:
1) how change happens, 2) making choices, 3) feeling deserving, 4) finding comfort,
5) knowing what is enough, 6) managing intimacy, and 7) holding a positive identity.
What I’ve found in 30 years of working with disregulated eaters (and clients in general), is that they often harbor numerous beliefs that work against taking care of themselves. For instance, if you don’t wholeheartedly love yourself and believe you deserve the best in life, you won’t sustain positive practices. If you rely on food for comfort, you’re likely to feel frightened of giving up emotional eating. If you hate being told what to do, you’ll tend to rebel against the structure of healthy practices. If you don’t know when enough is enough, you’ll end up bouncing between self-care extremes. If you don’t understand how change happens, unrealistic expectations will led to poor pacing and you’ll give up. If you have discomfort being dependent on others and don’t think you’re lovable, you’ll have fears of intimacy and sexuality. And if you’ve suffered as a victim in childhood, shifting to an identity of not broken but whole might seem unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
This book is for any of you who’ve struggled with taking better care of yourselves in the food, body, and self-care arenas. It will teach you the keys to a lifetime of unbroken self-care so that you never again have to vow to do better starting Monday.