We may not realize how being bombarded daily by articles on longevity and wellness distorts our view of what is actually possible—a recent article count for longevity was 440,000,000 and for wellness it was 997,000,000. Article after article leads us to think that actions we take or don’t take will almost certainly assure us a long, healthy life. 

But what happens when you do everything—or even most things—right and still develop medical conditions that keep you in constant or chronic pain, destroy your ability to function optimally, and drag your spirits down? This radical mental shift from wellness to illness makes me think of a quote attributed to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis who died from non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, a form of cancer. She’s reputed to have said, “If I’d known I was going to get cancer, I wouldn’t have done all those push-ups.” 

That’s one way of dealing with illness and, indeed, many people sorely regret having denied themselves pleasures when they are hit by a serious diagnosis. Another perspective is to refuse to believe your diagnosis isn’t fixable and double down on healthful eating, supplements, and exercise. Though understandable, this approach is no guarantee to cure someone who’s already doing the “right” things. 

An alternative response is despair, powerlessness, rage and often depression leading to random, reckless eating. One of my clients who’s tried hard to take care of her body and was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer, now has a “what the hell” attitude and is eating nearly everything in sight. She feels she’s lost control of her body, so nothing she does matters any more and she might as well do whatever feels good.

Another client religiously followed best practices for health her whole life and has developed sickle cell anemia. Although the disease has a strong genetic component, she’s driving herself crazy obsessing about what she might have done or not done to cause the disease to go from dormant to active. She wonders if by having eaten even more healthfully than she did, she could have avoided it taking hold. It’s hard for her to grasp that sometimes genetics simply win out and she did nothing to cause her illness.

Yes, make healthy choices, but accept that some of what happens to our health is based in heredity. For example, in spite of making health choices for much of my life, I have non-life-threatening auto-immune conditions which I was predisposed to through heredity. I continue to make healthy choices because they’re likely making my health problems less bad and because I enjoy doing my best. So, do what you realistically can to stay healthy but accept that sometimes your best isn’t going to be enough.

Best,

Karen